The male "gold digger", as if it is all about women.

Why do we take so much bashing about looking for men with money???? The men are just as bad if not worse.  We just get called cougars.  What the hell is that, a cougar?  In Utah is apparently has more than just the BUY mascot meaning.

I noticed on online dating there is a huge group of men looking for older women with income requirements.  Why am I going to even start a conversation with how much I make.  Why do I want to babysit a man in his 20's?  Why does any woman want to babysit a man?

I agree with men's comments now, about not wanting to raise a girlfriend.  They are sick of the women in bling jeans trying to be a teenager and they can't grow up.

"Right back at ya men!!!"


So this very attractive man winks at me online.  I decide to talk to him.  Right from the beginning I am starting to analyze him and the emails. Pictures are photoshop, cut and paste to events.  Trying to look like a bad ass.  As the emails progress, he obviously has not learned english or is using a translator.

Is it just me or am I looking for every reason why every man is bad?

I find out he wants a green card and wants to take me to meet his mom.

"NO!"

"O HELL NO!"

So let me get this right.  You want a woman who makes over 100K, you want to lie your ass off right from the start and get a green card to the US.  They need add warning labels you can add to these men on match.com.

Yet we get called cougars?  Most women think that is a sex thing, I say no way is being a babysitter, green card provider or raising a boyfriend my idea of LOVE, not even sex.

I saw little willie!!!!

Why is it a man finds out when there is a girls night and there is alcohol involved they ask you if you want to see the penis.  That is not quite what gets women turned on.  It doesn't want me to consider you potential husband material.

Apparently the game is still the same, I just got older.  Then again when I was in school it would have been indecent exposure because they had to pull it out. I remember being in high school and "piercings in special places" being the thing. Men had a thing of showing each other.   I never remembered caring.

As we are drinking and watching, The Rocky Horror Picture Show.  I see a friend of mine with a totally embarrassed grin on the chair across from me.

"This guy just asked if I wanted to see his dick."  Said my not so innocent friend.

I am shaking my head of course, my other friend jumps on it, no pun intended yet! She texts him and he approaches very cautiously.

"Really.." So seductive you could just about hear her thoughts.

Next thing you know!  Bam!!!! The room busts out in little girl laughter for a limp sausage. Or was it a hotlink?  The last time I saw one was in the microwave years ago.  It just didn't do it for me!

Do women wip out their boobs for men as fast as men are showing off sausage?  I think dating is still what it has been since creation.  How fast can the penis puke!!!  Now we just have camera's and sexting.

I am just not sure I am ready to be sending pictures of anything! Who knows, piss the person off enough you might wind up all over Facebook and naked.

Everything a man does RIGHT ?!?!?!?

I have missed having a man around.  However education should be priceless, at least I heard that one time.  I have learned to put closet organizers together, build bookcases and lift things that I swear weight more than I do.  This is not my idea of fun and after 2 weeks of cleaning and organizing in my crooked bookcase, I decided men do a few things right!

Walking through IKEA today I saw this couple, this woman was whining to her husband or boyfriend about carrying around a pot.

"REALLY?"

"O god I was like that!" I thought.

Anyone who has not been to IKEA, you should go!! You walk around for at least an hour and maybe 2 miles.  Then you have to lift all you stuff into a cart, drag it to your car, then home, in the house and build it. 3 times in one week, I am worn out, spent and irritated.  Not to mention I did this all alone and scratched my car with my new paint job.

I don't know what good a date would do for any of this stuff!!

"Want to hang out?" Says potential male date

"Sure!! Want to come over to my house and put a few screws in?"  I say

"Well alright I guess you know what you want then, I will see you at 6:00?" Says the now eager male date.

DING DONG

"I brought you flowers!" Says the man with a smirk on his face

"Well aren't you sweet!!  Ready?" I say

By now this man is either quite confused or used to getting it on the first night.

"Ok, here is my mess of storage from IKEA!! can you help me screw it together?  Frankly I am about sick of putting things together.  Thanks so much for being such a sweet man!"  I say

O I am sure the look is priceless.  Can you throw them out after it is put together or do you still have to play nice and chit chat?  You never know how much help a spouse is until they are gone.

Being a housewife to yourself, mother and a father really sucks! This is not even comparable to being a single parent.  At least you have a free weekend or two.  Not that this has anything to do with dating however, Men, you do do allot of things right!

How long do you stay with the partner that you love?

My grandparents were married for 64 years. I know I will never see 64 years of marriage. Can you really find that one person that you love and want to spent the rest of your life with?  Dating is just not how it used to be, nor is life!

When my grandpa was alive I swear I heard the same story over and over. How he met my grandma! They grew up together, lived on the same street and went to the same church. They were married and never looked back or at another person sexually, EVER! Well that is until my grandpa was in a rest home and was hitting on the 22 year old nurses.

I think back to who I grew up with, there is not one person that I even stay in touch with. I see people I went to school with and they are in the set standard of a divorce or two. Being a single mom or paying half of what they make in child support. I have some friends that are married, working two jobs just to support the kids they already have and their wife wants more.

I have to think to myself, at what time do they divorce? Do they divorce? If I was a man I would be afraid of how much I am going to have to pay for child support. Do men stay together with their wife for fear of how much they are going to have to pay?

Utah has one of the highest divorce rates in the country. Getting married right out of highschool takes it toll on a relationship, at least in this day and age. I know I would want a divorce with who I dated in high school.

What type of society are we progressing into? One that dates a silicone body part, pushes men through a revolving door in front of our kids and parties like they were 21. Or the one that gets on match.com and has sex with any woman he can to validate he still "has it". I say most likely has an STD after a match.com marathon. Rosie palm and her five sister still has a fighting chance when it comes to what is out there.

I know so much of what I don't want but what do I want?

The dirty deed at the slumber party!!!

Silicone, front door, back door, and the door bell???  Is this is how we are talking about sex.  I have been to a few Slumber Parties and let me tell you they are nothing compared to the Las Vegas sex store.
I went in good humor to support my friend that has never been to one. They like to call the newbies "The Virgin".

Of course you start the night off with a lot to drink.   We had hard lemonade and jello shots.  I think back and my mom used to have these parties when I was small.  It was always to grandmas house for the night.  Now I know why!!  These women get out of control.

Have housewives been doing the dirty deed with toys for over 30 years? As I am finding out most of the women that were there were single mom's.  They were more sex driven than a teenage boy. Something is said for cougar women;

"They either need a young man or allot of toy's"

Maybe I was the party pooper or just not in the mood but spending $198 for a plastic body part was just not my thing.  As the night came to an end, the virgin went home to her man, I went home to sleep and all the girls went home with something that hummed like a humming bird.

I don't think I am ready to date, however I am sure not ready to date a silicon body part in the meantime.

Nails done, Hair Done, Everything Did... Oh, you fancy, Huh?

Thank you, Drake, for quoting a woman's lifelong quest to finding out if men notice!

"You getting ready so I know we don be here awhile

in the bathroom flat irons and nail files

spending hours in salons on your hairstyle

ht the gym step on the scales stare at the number

you say you dropping 10 pounds preparing for summer

and you don't do it for the man? MEN NEVER NOTICE"

Well this pretty much sums it up!!! OR NOT?

Do men really notice these things??  I know they notice the over processed and underdressed girls no matter where they are.  Is all this time really worth what "we" as women put into trying to get a mans attention or our we doing it for ourselves?  Maybe it is our own insecurities that require hours to look good for our own eyes.

I can't say that a man catches my attention when they look good.  Maybe they just don't look good enough?  I don't remember thinking this way except when I was in school.  Now that I think about it, the last time I was single was in school.  Now I am shoved into this adult world of being single.

"What am I looking for?  Or am I looking at all?" I am questioned with.

How are looks not suppose to not matter when our dating world has turned to the internet?  There is no more mall walking, it is looking through loads of pictures and profiles instead.  With the same result, how far can they get.  

Why do I want to pay to meet men?

I know it has been over a year, however dating is just not my thing and has not been for a while.  I figure any date I wound up in Jail for a DUI was a HUGE warning sign to NOT DATE ANYTIME SOON!!  I decided that a devoted mother was a much better fit for me!  The past year I have done everything to avoid it, dating that is.

So here I am sitting on the couch the other day and an ad for Match.com comes on.  It looks intriguing, it has been almost 2 years.

"WHY THE HELL NOT!!!" Famous last words.

Here you sign up, find your picture, fill out a million questions;

"What are you looking for? Someone who is sane!" However they don't seem to have that choice.

"Body type? OH ok right!?&@!"

This is the point where you know everyone is lying their ass off.

Every man you read about is athletic and toned, however photoshopped!  My favorite male post on my search was this;

"I am looking for hot toned athletic girl who is young.  I am not looking for a committed relationship, just some fun!"

TRANSLATION: "Looking for as many girls as I can to have sex with"

"No thank you walking STD" was my last thought.

So here I am playing around, reading about these men wavering back and forth on what to do and what do you get?  A cost of $22.95 a month!!  A recurring cost at that!!  I am just not sure any "date" is worth money on a website.

"Who are you really paying for, and what?"

Any story I heard about internet dating always seems to end worse than jail!

Maybe I am just not ready.