Saturday, October 26, 2013

Does he spark your interest? or did you spark hers?

Well not usually when they have a profile picture holding a beer and have the drunk swollen face. No not at all! For sure not when they have the name of LOVE GLOVE.  I think any dating site needs to give a short educational video on trying to look you best and not sounding like sex driven love glove.  However it is true, a picture is worth a thousand words and so is the screen name.

I had advice one time about getting back out there and dating by someone that I worked with.  She was on every dating sight and was out every weekend.  Sounded like she had the best of both worlds with her social life and personal life.  She was getting flowers and gifts. Then the stories started to roll in. I sat there thinking to my self. Well now I know why women get such a bad name!!!

I am trying to think of something other than keep it in your pant's.  All that comes to mind is that I don't want her sitting on my toilet.

I struggle with the moralistic way I was raised and the Vegas craziness I saw and lived in.  If you walk down the strip and you can get a flyer to drive to the hooker ranch.  I know there is everyone's way of life and choices that we all make.

How far do you go to spark the interest of another? Visually it is there when you choose someone and sometimes it is gone the second he or she opens their mouth.  Other times they have the best personality but then they get the friend mark.

What even needs to be sparked?  We all have that want for the bad boy romance novel version of dating and for men hopefully you want more than a bad boy girl movie.  However in the reality of dating some of us are sparkless left with too many question on how dating even works these days.

"Do I even want someone touching my stuff again?"

"Do I have sex on any date or wait to be married?"

"What the hell do I do?"

If you have ever watched Sex in the City there is an episode where Trey and Charlotte are having sexual issues after they waited to get married to have sex.  He can't get it up unless it is for Juggz Magazine.  Come to find out he holds his wife up too high to degrade her with sex or as some say he loves her like her mother and cannot associate sex with her.  They call it the Madonna-whore complex.

Perfect example why sometimes you need to know the person a little bit more and they should spark a bit more than your interest.  However make it a rule of thumb not to spark them all!


Friday, October 25, 2013

I now have to do the "SCARY"?

How do you handle sex after a relationship?? Especially when you're an adult and your hormones are not ruling your brain, or both in a mans case.

I started to think and realized a few things.

  1. OH MY GOD, if I date then sex is coming! That wasted a few more month's on match .com of not looking.
  2. A man has to see me naked again. I will just zip on over to the gym EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE!
  3. I will have to see a man naked again. By now I am in a freeze of panic from just the thought.
Here I am an adult with no mom yelling at me to get home and saying away from boys.  However every lecture is rearing to the front of my memory.  As I explained it my step son when he was young.

"Now think of it this way Nick, you meet a girl and she kissed you.  Then you go kiss the next girl and the next. Do you think all these girls are just kissing you?" I said

"Well I don't know."  He said with a nice eye roll, as if he is even listening.

"No they are not!!! Now think of all the boys spit you just got in you mouth from all the other girls from all the boys they are kissing.  Listerine is not going to do shit for an STD!" As I told him this in trying to find a simple explanation.

" That is nasty!! Girls are nasty."  He said with this sour look on his face.

Apparently this got no point across, as my words meant nothing.  I should have given him the adult version.

"Do you want sores and bumps on your little willie?"

Well all of it sticks with me burned into my head.  With everything my mom told me that is nasty about boys.

When you get into a relationship and sex comes up, what do you do?  Ask for a letter from his Dr. saying that he is clean and ready to go.  There is a moment killer.  I am not a trusting woman and you know I don't trust the thin little layer of latex either.

So may things to think about when you can actually use your brain vs. Being a teenage hormonal nightmare.
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